Girl, Put Some Honey In That Tea: Why Discipline Doesn't Mean Deprivation

As for me and my house, we shall put honey in our tea.

Recently I've noticed a growing conversation among women—particularly Black women—about avoiding honey because it supposedly spikes blood sugar. While there is truth to being mindful of sugar intake, what struck me wasn't the nutritional discussion itself but the energy beneath it- and how quickly women are encouraged to reject sweetness. Which got me thinking about how many women have been conditioned to equate discipline with denial..

Culturally, ancestrally, and spiritually, black women have a deep relationship with honey and sweetness, as a medicine, in beauty rituals, and as a way of life. In many African, Indigenous spiritual traditions associated with feminine power, honey appears repeatedly as a symbol of attraction, nourishment, abundance, beauty, and devotion. The most popular goddess of the honey pot being the beloved Oshun but there are others who are older or not as well known.

 Among many things, Honey mirrors the relationship we have with receiving joy itself. We’ve become so accustomed to restriction that anything soft, pleasurable, or nourishing is viewed with suspicion.   Many of us  inherited generations of invisible labor-Coming from women who sacrificed endlessly, often placing duty above joy and obligation above self-expression. Some were punished whenever they attempted to prioritize themselves. Others learned to suppress their desires altogether-creating a collective discomfort and unfamiliarity with pleasure-and yet pleasure is the very medicine many women need, alongside discipline not in opposition to it.

Raw, unfiltered honey has been used for centuries not merely as a sweetener but as a medicinal food. Unlike refined sugar, quality raw honey contains enzymes, antioxidants, antimicrobial compounds, and beneficial plant compounds that have traditionally supported wellness practices- and beyond the nutritional properties, honey reminds us that life cannot be sustained on bitter medicine alone. 

Without the balance of  sweetness, the responsibilities of life start to feel burdensome- and feeling forced or obligated to do something breeds resentment over time;. Permitting ourselves to experience pleasure ;especially in our day to day living, increases our capacity to experience and receive more of it. 

You can be disciplined, responsible, devoted to your health, in pursuit of your goals while still embracing pleasure.  Part of self mastery as women is recognizing that fulfillment comes from embodying both aspects of ourselves, not picking and choosing between them. So as for this house, we shall put honey in our tea-because it took alot of hard work to get to this softer way of living and Im going to enjoy the fruits of my labor without apology.

Pleasure is a practice. If you're exploring a softer, more intentional relationship with yourself, explore the Wild Rose Society Boudoir where botanical elixirs, adornments, and ritual tools are created to support feminine self-devotion."

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